


Temporary Solutions

by Anonymous



Series: Life After Derry- Out and Proud [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Foster Care, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 19:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21213908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Eddie has his informal group therapy, and that's where it starts...





	Temporary Solutions

Dwayne stops him as the group is breaking up, and Eddie lets him, because he likes Dwayne-- Dwayne always feels like the little brother Richie would have had, somehow. It's the height, mostly, and the dark hair that he always has to push out of wide blue eyes, and he's shy in group and hasn't yet opened up much about his family, but when he's relaxed, he cracks the kind of jokes Richie would make. A little younger. It makes him feel a little protective of the man, makes him want to coax him into the swing of things, maybe get him involved anywhere that isn't geared around digging through old traumas. The group helps a lot, and it's not like they don't laugh, too, but it's pretty grim sometimes if you don't have other social opportunities.

"You got time to talk today, Eddie?" He asks, hunching in on himself a little.

"Yeah. I've got time. You want to get a cup of coffee?"

Dwayne nods, grateful. "Paulie's, um... he's got the car and he's real busy today, so... I'm free."

"I'll swing you home after. How are you guys doing?"

"Hey, you know." He laughs mirthlessly, gives a little shrug. "We're always good. Him and me, we're always good."

What Eddie knows is that Dwayne came out to LA to be with his partner, and to be as far away from home as possible, which he can definitely relate to. He knows Dwayne never went to college, that he works a couple of part time jobs because he 'likes to be useful', and doesn't want Paul doing everything. He knows that since moving, Dwayne has become an avid fan of the Ducks, that he can fix most things around the house, and that while he hasn't yet said much about his family, he has a large one. That he 'likes girls okay' but doesn't see himself ever being with one again ever since he got serious with his boyfriend. That the one time he met Richie, they really did get along immediately, laughing at each other's crass jokes, shoving at each other and giggling over peak middle school humor.

And Eddie, damn him, hadn't even been annoyed, because Richie was having a good time, and he'd been so afraid that if he went to this mixer, he wouldn't have anything to talk about to anyone and they would all hate him.

Dwayne is all nervous energy on the short drive over to a coffee place, where he takes his coffee black and snags the most secluded table.

"You seem really together." He says, when Eddie sits down with his own drink, and he waves off his snort of disbelief. "No, really. Like, you always know what to say to these guys and everyone knows they can go to you when stuff's fucked up and they don't know what to do, and you're good with kids, and-- and I don't know how to do that. I mean I wish I fuckin' did, 'cause I really need to, now, but I don't. And you and your boyfriend... like, you're real adults. I mean, Paulie tries, bless him, he's great, but we can't do this."

"What can't you do?"

"I'm not exactly like every other guy in the group. My folks, you know, they didn't care that I was gay. One of my brothers is, too, they're... And they never hit us or nothing, like I gotta say, my parents are loving people, and they tried their best, you know, give us kids values. But, like, it goes back, uh... I mean, my old man's controlling sometimes. He never hit us or nothing, even once. Nobody ever hit me except once my grandma, and I was almost thirty and she was senile, and it didn't hurt and she didn't know it was me, even, so... _Fuck_. What I'm trying to say is, I don't want to make out like I got rotten parents like some people talk about. My dad's the way he is 'cause of his dad, and his dad's dad, like... great grandpappy or whatever, you know, he like... he ran his family like it was a cult and I got all these relatives who are just trying to deal with generations of this weird shit. Like I don't want to make it sound like I don't love my family. I knew when I was sixteen I was a dumb kid and I started going to work so I could put into my little brothers' college fund so they could get out and get away from some of the-- like, just some of the weird shit."

"Your family was... a cult?" Eddie tries to keep his voice warm and neutral. "Um-- no, I mean-- good for you for finding your way out here."

"I mean not like a murder cult, or anything like that." Dwayne laughs nervously. "I mean, pretty authoritarian for being so full of hippie shit, but like... I mean as cults go, you know... We were allowed to dress normal and go to school. My granddad's generation wasn't but I guess he softened things up a little. A little. But I mean they're all so stuck in it, and I think I understand sometimes, 'cause it took me meeting Paulie to leave, and I knew it wasn't healthy, and I just thought if I could get everyone _out_ of there, we could all leave, but no one ever leaves the family. Like a mafia movie, except there's no guns. I mean I didn't know how fucked up it all was for a long time, it was normal to me. That's why I think after college, you know, they all kind of went back. I thought I was going to be the one, you know, the one who never left. Maybe I woulda been, if Paulie and me never... You know?"

"I know." Eddie nods, but he feels out of his depth. There's a lot he thinks he could have handled-- he fought a demon clown from _space_, after all, not to mention surviving Sonia Kaspbrak's parenting. He thought he had a lock on childhood trauma, but 'cult' is a new one.

"I don't want to talk bad about my family, like in group, none of us had it easy." He meets Eddie's eyes, serious and intense. "And I don't blame anybody for just being trapped like I coulda been. And if I said to all the other guys what it was like, they'd think they were all monsters, like, my parents and shit. I don't think they could _get_ it. Most of us are just... used to it. Even Paulie-- I mean I never took him home. He doesn't know-- not everything. And he's gonna have to know now. 'Cause most of us just grew up stuck, but there's, you know... there's bad apples on every family tree, I guess, and-- so I got this uncle who-- I don't know. I don't know. 'Cause he lived far enough away from the rest of us, and he was the littlest brother of that generation and I'm the oldest in mine, so even when we were around each other, you know... like if he ever wanted to hit me, I think I coulda taken him. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I got his kid staying with Paulie right now."

Eddie feels frozen for a long moment. Everything filters through a fog to reach him, time feels stretched out.

What he knows is:

-Dwayne-- funny, gentle, shy Dwayne who always says someone else who had it worse should get to talk and who brings out whatever big brother instinct Eddie's got-- grew up in a fucking _cult_, and considers the fact that he got to 'dress normal and go to school' proof that it wasn't a _bad_ cult.

-His parents never hit him, more for the 'but it wasn't a bad cult' argument.

-He has one potentially violent uncle, apparently unrelated to the whole cult issue, just the way anyone could have a potentially violent uncle-- though Eddie doesn't think the whole 'raised in a cult' thing helps, unless this uncle is from the other side of the family or something.

-Paul knows _none_ of this.

-There's a kid, and that kid is at Dwayne and Paul's place.

-Dwayne is looking at Eddie with fear and hope, like maybe he can fix it, if he doesn't help send everything crashing down instead.

"His name's Jeffy." Dwayne's hands twist around his coffee cup. "He ran away and he found me. I don't-- He can't go to anyone else, but I can't-- I don't think I can take care of a kid, Eddie. I'm so fucked up and I know I am, and a kid... And I guess I gotta call Child Protective Services, and I don't know what happened, but he... the bruises were faded, when he got here, so I don't know... I don't know how bad, or what-- I mean, he don't know how to talk about it, he's a kid. And then I thought... I mean I know you're good with kids. And I know this is different 'cause Jeffy's not a gay kid-- maybe, I dunno, like... he's eleven, he's not anything yet, but that's not why he needs help, just... I told Paulie I'd ask someone for help with this whole thing, and he's better than I am with, like, _everything_, but he can't raise a kid, either."

"Okay. Okay." Eddie takes a deep breath. He can handle this. He can handle this. He handled _It_, he handled Derry, he can handle this. "I'm going to give you a ride home, and we'll... we'll figure this out. Just... give me a minute."

Dwayne nods, and Eddie pulls his phone out, calling Richie. He needs to actually talk to him for this... he needs to be able to hear his voice.

"Eddie? What's wrong?" Richie answers with immediate concern-- if nothing was wrong, he'd send a text. If the text was time sensitive, he might call and hang up just to make sure Richie heard his phone.

"I'm not... completely sure. Something came up and there's a kid in trouble, and I'm going to see what I can do, but I might get caught up mediating this thing, and I really don't know what's going to happen. I-- I'm going to be late, that's all, and... I just want you to know..." His voice is tight, and he relaxes a little when Richie makes a gentle shushing sound-- not, he knows, to shut him up, just to soothe him. "It could be an ugly situation and I have to do what I can to help."

"Yeah, of course. Do you need me to do anything?"

"Pick up dinner, maybe. And just... wait for me. I mean, you can eat without me if it really drags on, but I-- I'll call you later."

"I'll have dinner waiting, then. Babe... call me if you need anything I can do."

"I will. I love you."

"Love you." Richie echoes.

They hang up, and Eddie drives Dwayne home, follows him in. He and Paul have a nice place-- old, small, but with a little backyard. Not really _room_ for a kid, even if they were capable of taking care of one. From the outside, Eddie would guess it was a one-bedroom bungalow, and his opinion does not magically change when Dwayne leads him inside. Paul gets up from the couch when he hears the door, moves to pull Dwayne into a quick hug. He's shorter than Dwayne-- but taller than Eddie. Handsome in the way that Eddie thinks kind people are handsome. They'd met at the same party where Dwayne and Richie had gotten along so well, but they'd both been mingling more, they hadn't really bonded deeply. Still, it's enough that they know each other. Paul knows he works with the youth outreach programs.

"Hey, thank you for coming." He says, shaking Eddie's hand warmly, one arm still around Dwayne's waist. "Hey, sugar, I took Jeff shopping for a few things, he didn't have a whole lot in his backpack. He's asleep in our room right now, his sleep schedule is fucked up from... everything. He just wanted to go to bed. I got him McDonalds, he seems... I mean, everything about this is supremely fucked up, but he seems okay?"

"Kids are resilient." Eddie says, somewhat mechanically. "What's he told you?"

"He used to not get hit so much at home, now he does." Paul shrugs expansively. "The reasons have been getting... I mean, there's no good reason to hit a kid, but he said it's just been getting worse and he wanted to come stay with Dwayne because Dwayne 'got out'. Hon... is this why you didn't want to take me home to meet your family?"

"No." Dwayne says, a little too quickly.

"Because I've just been assuming it was like a religious thing--"

"Well yeah, a little, but not like you think."

"And Jeff said something about 'visiting grandma at the compound', and...?"

"Okay, well it's not a _compound_, it's like a house in the suburbs." Dwayne pulls a face. "Look, no one hit me when I was a kid, I'm fine. But... the rest of the family, they're not like Uncle Ralphie."

They all sit, Dwayne curling up small against Paul's side.

"Where are you going to put him?" Eddie asks. "If CPS decides this is the safest place."

"I don't think he can sleep out in the living room." Paul says.

"I dunno, like a sleeping bag on the floor?" Dwayne says at the same time. "Like in the room with us? Is that-- is that better or worse than the couch? I-- I dunno. I don't--"

"No, he definitely needs privacy. He needs a door he can close, he's... he has to be able to feel safe, and he _barely_ trusts me not to be an axe murderer at this point."

"Wouldn't know about 'privacy'. Oldest of my brothers was born nine months after I was and there's six of us, I don't remember ever having a room to myself."

"Jeez, six of you? How come I don't know this?" Paul runs a gentle hand through his hair, looks between him and Eddie and the direction of the bedroom.

"The reason Jeffy came to us and not anyone else is probably that he can't trust anyone else to do something about it, because everyone else is still part of the cult."

"When you say 'cult', like... Mormons? Jehovah's Witnesses?" Paul asks, growing more and more unsettled. "... Scientologists?"

"Just my family."

"Why-- why don't I know this?"

"It's a lot to tell you about." Eddie says, when Dwayne seems incapable of answering. "Look, Dwayne's been... dealing with this. Deprogramming himself. Listening to the rest of us in group and learning about how to find a safe distance from families who've hurt us in the past, but it's a lot, and it's not the kind of thing it's easy to have people know. I mean, all I had was one overbearing mother, and I can't... I don't even feel comfortable saying 'abusive' when she was, because I don't like the picture I think it paints to people who don't know. I can't _imagine_ what it's like for Dwayne, with generations of control, with having the people he was closest to trapped in the same boat, being helpless to do anything. Well-- I know a very little bit what that's like."

He does, he realizes. He and Bev had briefly but powerfully connected over their respective home situations. There was only so much they could do for themselves or each other, and then Bev had been free to live with her aunt, and... then she'd been gone, yeah, but Eddie had been happy for her even as he'd missed her.

"Didn't people in your hometown notice? Teachers, or-- anyone?"

Eddie thinks he knows this one, too. Derry isn't the only town where adults walked around blind, where they let hurt fester. Lots of communities see that kind of indifference, and most of them can't even blame a malevolent entity from beyond the stars.

"Yeah. But... you know how in the Addams Family, the old show, like... people would come to the house and freak out and then just... leave and never do anything? People knew there was something wrong in our house, but they didn't want to come back and deal with it. And like I said, our house-- it wasn't like what Jeffy dealt with. It was fucked up, but like... Like, my parents would never hurt their kids. Not-- not on purpose. I don't blame my old man, you know, 'cause he never knew anything different. Sometimes... sometimes I blame my mom, for deciding that was who she should raise a family with. She shoulda known it was fucked up. But they met when there was still a lot of... Like, everyone was joining cults in the seventies I guess. So better us than the Manson family, right?"

"Okay. Okay." Paul takes a deep breath. He's handling it like a champ, Eddie thinks. With this on top of the surprise kid thing, he's really doing a good job of not having a total meltdown. "So there's no one in your family it's safe to call."

Dwayne's expression scrunches up into something deeply pained, and he shakes his head.

"I don't want to put him in the system." He manages at last, voice going high and choked. "But I can't raise a kid, Paulie. What if I--? What if I--?"

"Shh... sugar, sugar... we'll find a solution. Maybe there's someone on his mother's side, someone safe."

"We have a guest room." Eddie blurts out. And it's not something he should be saying without consulting Richie first, but he can't seem to stop himself. "You call in Child Protective Services, I'm sure he's been reported missing, and if anyone calls in a tip-- Look, just... they need to know that they can't take him back home. And I'm going to stay with you and I'm going to talk to them, and... I've worked with kids. If they'll let me take him, I can provide a safe place until something more permanent comes along. That way he won't have to go into a group home."

"Shit, are you sure you can do this?" Paul gapes at him, and he's not, but he is.

"I mean I should call my husband, but..." Eddie shrugs.

"This is a traumatized kid we're talking about."

"I was a traumatized kid once. And right now, I'm in a position where I _can_. I have a spare room with a door and a bed, I can afford to take care of a kid... and the kids I do volunteer work with are-- I mean... If it's something CPS and Jeff himself can agree on, I think it's the best solution-- you'll be able to spend time with him and help him feel cared for and not so alone in all this, without having the burden of a kid you're unprepared for when you don't have a bedroom for him."

"I mean... someday, you know?" Paul sighs. "We might have talked about kids someday, I-- But this is where we live, and I had to take today off work, and... It wouldn't be fair to him to do anything else, you know? But I can't... Neither of us is ready."

"When you are ready, things will be different. For right now, Richie and I can take responsibility, while still giving you the chance to be his family in all the ways that count. You can come over and have meals with him, you can take him out to do stuff when you're not working, you can get involved in his life. You can make sure he knows he's not the only one going through shit, and that you're not just handing him off to a stranger, you're thinking about his needs. And maybe... I don't know, maybe you can find a family therapist and all go together. You're still his family." Eddie leans forward, patting Dwayne's knee. "You're just getting some help."

He sobs once, winds up further entangled with Paul on the couch.

"Call your husband." Paul nods. "And then we'll call CPS. And-- and-- I want to let the kid rest a little longer, but you should actually meet him."

Twice in one day is a startlingly high number of phone calls, Eddie thinks, as he steps into the kitchen and calls Richie.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I mean, a lot, but I'm _fine_." He promises. "You always answer the phone like that?"

"When you call me, after telling me about a vague emergency, yeah." Richie says. Eddie can imagine him pacing the floor. Looking out the window, perhaps.

"I might have volunteered us to take a foster kid, Rich."

"... Okay, not what I expected. I thought maybe we'd start with a houseplant, and if the houseplant worked out, we'd get a fish, and if the fish worked out, we'd get--"

"He ran away from an abusive father and most of his extended family is in a literal cult and the only safe relative he has is-- you remember Paul and Dwayne Katz? So they've got a kid and a one-bedroom bungalow and a backyard the size of a postage stamp, and what was I supposed to do? The kid's eleven years old and no one's ever helped him before. They're calling Child Protective Services and then I'm going to volunteer to take care of him so that he can be near _someone_ he knows, while they look for anyone from the non-cult side of the family who can take him, or-- I don't know. Or we'll look after him until Paul and Dwayne are ready to be parents, it doesn't matter, but-- I can't just leave it."

"Text me the address. I'll come over. With pizza."

"Rich..."

"Yeah, I know, husband of the year material right here." He chuckles softly. "Eds... I get it. Of course you-- I get it. You really want to do the parent thing with me?"

"At least... fostering. And maybe-- maybe next time, we-- Yeah. I really, really do. I want to. Not just because it's an emergency-- because I want us to-- I want to know if this is something that's right for us, a kid."

"Okay. I'll get over there. Hey... I love you."

"I love you." Eddie smiles, already feeling lighter. They can do this. If there's one thing he and Richie know how to handle, after all, it's childhood trauma. And even if it's only for a little while, they could be parents together.


End file.
